2015 Miss Universe National Costumes
The costumes may change, but my 2011 commentary remains remarkably relevant. No need for a full play-by-play; we can skip straight to the awards.
Best national theme winner: Germany
Slightly overplayed the hockey theme by turning her vagina into the goal…
Throwing on a beret does not a national theme make.
Best non-national theme winner: Venezuela
Did not expect anyone to be able to pull of a “tree” theme this well.
This is what I expected a tree theme to look like.
Dishonorable mention: Tanzania
Rope? That’s your theme?
Disney princess audition winner: Spain
Disney with scissors winner: Lithuania
“Is that today?” winner, who put her outfit together from what the other girls could spare: Kosovo
Average-looking lady in supermarket “winner”: New Zealand
Honorable mention: Slovenia
Lost the award with those shredded arms.
Hat-based hobbling winner: Peru
“I don’t have the confidence to pull this off” winner: Jamaica
Of course, there are a few categories that certain countries continue to dominate:
Pedophile winner: still Croatia
In the running: St. Lucia
Disqualified for actually turning me on. And for hedging her bets by qualifying for the hat-hobbling category.
“Doesn’t realise she’s being graded on this” winner: still Curacao
Unfair advantage winner: still Greece
“Pretty sure your national costume is actually a woolen jumper” winner: still Ireland
“National character goes back no farther than the mid-oughts” winner: still Serbia
Could we be witnessing the start of a generation-long leadup to contention in the hat-hobbling category? Serbia plays the long game…
No national character winner: still Belgium
Any country on earth could have gone with this. And lack of arms doesn’t count as character.
I’m forced to admit that again this year, there are a few outfits I actually don’t mind:
Actually kind of nice winner: Haiti
Overall hotness trumps the cheesy leaves.
More nudity going on here than you notice at first glance.
Honorable mention: Kazakhstan
Beautiful fashion-wise. A little more skin next year and you’ve got a chance, Kazakhstan.
Finally, we have a couple of new awards for 2015:
“They have black people?” winner: Switzerland
“What’s with the rabbit?” winner: Hungary